Hey everyone, it’s been a while since my last post. Had a mini social media break because I wasn’t feeling great in myself, plus there was a lot of negativitiy going around too.
Anyway, I needed to write something down so here we go: 🙂
(Wow, only my 4th post this year)
If I have only one fear in life, it’s the unknown. Many of you probably know this, if you’ve read any of my previous posts or know me personally. (If I have any other fear, it’s probably a slight case of Thanatophobia)
You ever get the feeling of dread when you have an interview or have to meet someone new? Yeah that feeling, it can freeze me up and make me weak at the knees. I sometimes wonder how I passed my driving exam! :p
But this has really been a big fear of mine for a while, although I have greatly diminished it over the years. I can easily go travelling solo now and meet people, just sometimes it can get a tight grip on me.
I try my best to get a handle on this, which isn’t easy but sometimes it feels easier than others. I do this by pushing myself into making decisions and doing things that sometimes scare me, or make me feel nervous. Like going on a trip on my own, attending crowded conventions or concerts. Meeting new people and actually going out of my comfort zone but still enjoying myself. (My comfort zone basically being playing a game or watching netflix etc with my dog laying nearby.)
I always found that by doing this and going to conventions and events, I was more comfortable being in groups and also dealing with stress. I’ve been a loner for a long time now, can’t quite pinpoint when it started. But i’ve always been fine in my own company and at my own pace. The main problem with this is, you can get too comfortable on your own bubble. Then you get more and more contained and away from the rest of the world. Hell I sometimes wonder what would happen if I didn’t have to go to work!!
I’d managed to get through winter fine without any sadness or depression, which is a big win for me. Usually winter can have a negative affect on my mental health. (Seasonal Affective Disorder) But instead I hit a low point in March, just as spring came around. Not that sure why, but I gave myself some space and worked through it. Now that I feel better i’m just trying to figure out the cause, there’s usually a trigger or reason behind it in my experience. But this time it wasn’t apparent, it still isn’t really.
Though I have noticed, i’ve felt lonely of late and have missed people i’ve not seen in a long while. It could easily be this that’s caused it, so i’m going to try and meet up with some people soon and enjoy myself.
Hopefully it does the trick and i’m more my usual, sarcastic git self. haha
We’ll see, but for now just writing this out has been fairly therapeutic. Hope you’re all well and doing all you can to be happy and healthy.
Until next time, take care!
PS – This was my 100th post. 😀 Woohoo.